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How to Complete Your Portfolio for the College of Ed (for those who have problems with resistance)

05/07/2012

Don’t sweat it. Realize you work best under pressure and caffeine will carry you through. Attend the portfolio information meeting. Begin to sweat. Start gathering artifacts. Wish you had saved all of your syllabi in a folder marked “Syllabi.” Wish you had been a little bit more organized over the years. Buy a binder. Marvel at how expensive binders are. Print your unofficial transcript. Spend some time feeling good about how your transcript looks. Try not to think about how long this process has taken you so far. Remember what you were told about not waiting until the last minute when you attended the portfolio information meeting. Decide that dedicating the weekend prior to the due date is not waiting until the last minute. Waiting until the last minute is starting at 5:00 on Sunday evening and you are not doing that.

As the Weekend of the Portfolio approaches, consider cancelling the Friday wine night. Decide that wine night will help you relax and organize your thoughts on what to write in the reflection section of your portfolio. Don’t cancel wine night. Begin to feel much more relaxed about your portfolio as wine night progresses. Wake up Saturday and send your kid to Nana and Papa’s house for the weekend. Gather your artifacts. Do the dishes. Sweep the kitchen floor. Start laundry. Run the vacuum. Consider making banana bread. Remember what you are supposed to be doing. Leave the house before you begin cleaning baseboards. Go to UNR. Get a machiatto at Starbucks and begin cover pages. Realize that cover pages took you two hours. Begin to panic. Take a break. Write introduction of reflection. Take a break. Begin to write the artifact analysis portion of the reflection. Consider cancelling dinner and movie with friends. Decide that seeing friends will help you relax about your portfolio. Tell yourself you are halfway done already and you have all day tomorrow.

Wake up Sunday and put on Season 1 of Arrested Development, just for background noise. Make coffee and finish out artifact analysis. Realize the portfolio manual states that you should write a conclusion. Reread the how-to guide and write conclusion. Proofread. Freak out about what you don’t know. Feel good about what you do know. Laugh at the part of the manual that says “we don’t want to tell you how to do your portfolio.” Opt out of creativity, as much as it hurts, and follow the rules exactly as listed. Save everything to two jump drives because you are paranoid. Go to Kinkos with your two jumps and print everything out. Silently thank Kinkos for having a three-hole punch. Wonder if you should buy a three-hole punch for home use. Realize that if you thought a binder was expensive you don’t even want to think about how much a three-hole punch will cost. Take copies home and put your portfolio together. Label tabs, and thank yourself for being the kind of nerd who asked for a label maker for Christmas. Receive son back from Nana and Papa. Ask if he’d like to celebrate your nearly-finished portfolio by having Yogurt Beach for dinner. Worry about how your bad eating habits will affect his growth, and wonder if he is shorter than all of his peers because of you. Remember that you are nearly done with your portfolio and push that thought aside.

Go to work on Monday. Find the last two evaluation forms you need and fill those out. Complete matrix and cover page. Add these to portfolio. Drive to UNR. Try not to visualize car crashes. Walk to Raggio, 3rd floor. Sign your portfolio in as you do a child into daycare, and congratulate yourself for turning it in 5 hours early. Notice that some people have turned their portfolio in 5 days early. Feel less awesome about your 5 hours. Stand staring at your little portfolio, and silently wish it the best of luck. Breathe a huge sigh of relief. Go back to work. Wish you could have a beer.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. 05/08/2012 2:20 am

    Huge sigh of relief, and please receive some virtual kudos from your friend in the Midwest. Yay, Tammy!

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