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Who Knew Dips Could Make You Puke?


So, I am doing this B&B Buster Boot camp. When I hear B&B, I think strong hot coffee and a warm, buttery scone, preferably eaten outside on a secluded deck in one those Adirondack chairs that is perfectly placed to overlook an ocean or a valley or a parade or something. Preferably my empty coffee cup is refilled by someone else while I continue to sit, breathing in the cool, crisp, relaxing air, to complete the utter laziness of the experience. This kind of B&B that is getting me out of bed way too early is Belly and Bootie, not Bed and Breakfast. Damn.

Day 1: I did not throw up. I have thrown up after a work out, but not today. But there was a moment there when I thought, if I wanted to, I could puke, yes I could. And more power to the lady who teaches kickboxing 3 times a week and is just trying to lose that last 6 pounds, but at 5 a.m., it’s a little much. Go kick something, come back and see me. That’s the lack of caffeine talking. It doesn’t help that I don’t drink coffee until after the work out.

Day 2 (recovery day): ow. I am going to protect the identity of my B&B partner, but I’ll first say I am so glad she is doing this with me. When getting out of your chair to walk to the printer to pick up a print job that is 10 feet away feels like climbing Mount Everest, it’s nice to have someone nearby who understands. When I hear her sneeze in her office and then say painfully, Owwwww, well, it makes me feel  better. Yes, her pain is consolation for my own pain. I dropped the soap in the shower this morning and just looked at it for a second. Do I need that soap? Probably. Ow. My B&B buddy says she dropped her hair clip and didn’t ponder too long before deciding this would not be a hair clip day and left it right there. I laughed and it hurt so bad, damn her.

Day 3: Back to the B&B. Best pre work out snack: apple with peanut butter. No thoughts of puking. Must have been the banana. It could NOT have been the fact that I am a tiny bit out of shape. This time was better, although sore muscles made every yell ow, ow, ow and cuss a little (hmm, maybe that was just me…).  You know it’s a good workout when the trainer says “Now we are going to run and your B&B buddies say, “thank God.” Running I can do, it’s those things called squats, lunges, burpees, pointers, dips, sit ups, push-ups, jump squats, and planks, that I am not as fond of. But soon I will be lean and mean. Oh, but I miss my coffee during the ordeal, let me tell you.

Soon, Kat the trainer tells us, we will do something called Burpee Madness. If you look burpee up on Wikipedia, it’s actually there (P.E. teachers everywhere are so happy), and there are about 15 variations. I guess that’s where the madness will commence, in those 15 variations. Interesting side note: According to the OED, burpees are named after the guy who invented them, Royal H. Burpee. I think he’s dead now, some pissed off boot camper probably killed him.

More later on this riveting saga.

Reading:  Small as an Elephant by Jennifer Richardson Jacobson

I plan to re-read Vagabonding. If I can get it from the library today, wouldn’t that be an awesome camping book?

6 Comments leave one →
  1. 07/21/2011 11:00 pm

    You must read the “Castle Waiting’ series! It will distract you from your pain… glad it is you two doing it, and not me–esp. in this 95 degree/95 % humidity that we are sweltering in.

    But, I have complete faith in you both. You go, girls! And remind your B&B partner that I found something for your little guy at the sidewalk sales this morning.

    • 07/22/2011 3:47 pm

      It’s a series? I better get on it! You are so sweet, the boy will love it. He might be a bit spoiled…

  2. 07/21/2011 11:27 pm

    OMG, you are my shero!!!! I could not possibly entertain the thought of boot/bootie camp. My speed? Yoga, and I can’t muster that up either….What a pitiful mess I am.

  3. Susan Howard permalink
    09/21/2011 10:46 pm

    That was very funny!

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