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I Just Don’t Feel Like It: The Lamest Excuse Ever


I understand how people get stuck in their houses. I don’t mean like agoraphobia or natural disasters, I just mean for the weekend, especially if you are the only one home. My couch is like a comforting suction cup for my butt, and cable TV is like a mind-numbing , crazy-thought-maker for my brain. It causes me to think stupid things like, “I don’t wanna go to a piano recital, I could just stay here and watch Best Thing I Ever Ate marathon and take a nap.” If I had done that I would have missed driving down the freeway in the back seat of a convertible, visiting the prettiest and maybe the oldest library in Reno, and watching practice, practice, practice in action in the form of cute, small humans all dressed up and playing short songs (or do you call them pieces?) on the piano. I especially would have l missed the big hug and “I’m glad you came” from my nephew, who was the only kid who Wrote His Own Song. Yes he did, totally cool right? I loved seeing his name on the composer side of the program. In addition to the sweet hug from boy who is, at 9 years old, almost as tall as I am, I would have missed Chai Tea gelato at a place called Bijou’s, super yum. Apparently they sometimes have chocolate jalapeno flavor, something I absolutely have to go back and try. Most of all I would have missed the opportunity to remember how much I love this family.

I’m not sure why I tend to say yes to things and then wish I could recant and hide out, but I do it a lot. Well, actually yes I do know why: two things, my lifelong introversion and my desire for alone time. Most of those MMPI, Meyer’s Briggs, etc. type tests put me unequivocally in the introvert category. When I took John Holland’s career test, I scored number one in artistic: – creative, original, independent, chaotic (what the hell? Well, okay, maybe in my head.). With the Holland test, it means I should be doing artistic work or at least working with artistic people. Shouldn’t we all? The other day I was talking with my friend about people… ok, fine, I was gossiping. I am so quitting that by the way. Today was Day 1 and I think I made it, but I’m conflicted about whether it counts as gossip if someone is talking crap about someone at you and you wimpishly say “Yaaaa,” and then change the subject.  Anyway, my friend told me, “I don’t think I really need friends.” And I conceded that I don’t think I do either. There is some kind of irony in two friends saying that to each other. Kind of sounds like an “it’s not you it’s me” type of situation. I don’t think we really meant it though. I think I meant that I am okay with alone time. I know I need my friends, really love and appreciate my friends, but I like my friends to be low maintenance and no frills. The kind who will send you an email, but not get mad when you don’t reply for a few days or weeks. The kind who ask you to do lunch but don’t say, “What happened to you, did you drop off the face of the Earth or what?”, as if we were wearing each other’s friendship bracelets and knew each other’s locker combinations. Once a movie-theater-popcorn sized bucket of guilt and need comes into the relationship, I tend to bail. Obviously I’m not talking about any of you guys.  As you age you learn to surround yourself with the people who suit your needs and fit your personality. Anyway, I recognize my need to hide out, but I am trying to remind myself that hiding out means missing out, and sometimes hiding out means not showing up for your people. And you know what, I’ve never been to a piano recital before, believe it or not. It was a very cool experience.

I have discovered the key to getting some writing done, some studying done, and some reading done every day: sleep 6 hrs per night. No more. Sometimes less. Now I just need a fabulous product for under the eye bag removal and I’m all set.

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